A new semester of university is starting soon and this semester I'll be going in with three jobs. Even typing it sounds crazy but I vowed this year that I would look after myself and I intend to keep that promise. During the break because I had nothing to do, I was working 6 days a week and on the one day that I was off, I would make it a point to go out. I was like that for about 3 weeks and I could feel myself being drained of energy. Now with another job and uni on top of it, I know I couldn't keep this up. It wouldn't be fair to the students that I plan to tutor and not fair to myself either.
So with the way things are going, I only plan to do about 20 hours a week, which is a big change from doing 20-25 hours, sometimes almost 30 hours (and that's including university). My bank account is definitely going to be very sad but with how crazy I've been mentally and getting sick so often, this is what I need. It's definitely a lesson in not just self care but also learning to say "no". The amount of times I've agreed to do things, even though I really didn't want to is ridiculous. This new job is exactly where I want to be and I need to let go of the way that I'm living, in order for me to do it properly. I can't let my guilty conscience run my life.
So here's me hoping that all goes well this semester. The sheer idea of it, actually makes me want to throw up but fingers crossed.
My soft and sensitive heart does not need a soft and sensitive man.
Or any kind of man for that matter.
Rather, it needs a focus.
The emotion needs to be channeled into something productive.
An outlet which allows it to feel wholeheartedly without letting it consume itself.
A place for it’s softness to be acknowledged and valued.
A way for it to express itself and turning that into something that speaks to people.
My soft and sensitive heart has so much to share, if only it knew how.
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A new semester of university is starting soon and this semester I'll be going in with three jobs. Even typing it sounds crazy but I vowed this year that I would look after myself and I intend to keep that promise. During the break because I had nothing to do, I was working 6 days a week and on the one day that I was off, I would make it a point to go out. I was like that for about 3 weeks and I could feel myself being drained of energy. Now with another job and uni on top of it, I know I couldn't keep this up. It wouldn't be fair to the students that I plan to tutor and not fair to myself either.
So with the way things are going, I only plan to do about 20 hours a week, which is a big change from doing 20-25 hours, sometimes almost 30 hours (and that's including university). My bank account is definitely going to be very sad but with how crazy I've been mentally and getting sick so often, this is what I need. It's definitely a lesson in not just self care but also learning to say "no". The amount of times I've agreed to do things, even though I really didn't want to is ridiculous. This new job is exactly where I want to be and I need to let go of the way that I'm living, in order for me to do it properly. I can't let my guilty conscience run my life.
So here's me hoping that all goes well this semester. The sheer idea of it, actually makes me want to throw up but fingers crossed.
My soft and sensitive heart does not need a soft and sensitive man.
Or any kind of man for that matter.
Rather, it needs a focus.
The emotion needs to be channeled into something productive.
An outlet which allows it to feel wholeheartedly without letting it consume itself.
A place for it’s softness to be acknowledged and valued.
A way for it to express itself and turning that into something that speaks to people.
My soft and sensitive heart has so much to share, if only it knew how.
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