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/ Monday, 29 August 2016 @05:05 /

And this is the beginning to the end.

Finding closure is when you know the hardest part is all over.

But what is closure? How do you know closure is closure? How do you know for certain that all those feelings won't come to haunt you in those late night moments of weakness?

I don't believe in getting over someone. No such thing as forgetting the feelings. You just learn to put your time and effort into more important people, more important pursuits.

That doesn't mean that when you're having a bad day that the thought of those times of your life don't come back to make you feel worse, because a moment of weakness is never really ever a moment is it? It starts and progresses and when you find yourself thinking of someone who has brought you grief and pain, then that’s the worst part because you realise that the pain never gets easier.

But at this point, you're getting better. At least you're associating said person with negative thoughts, rather than being still hung over wonderful memories of the past. People say to keep the wonderful memories and to get over the pain but isn't it the good times of the past that give you the most pain? Wouldn't you rather the anger than the constant reminder of what could've been?

Hey I’m no professional but I am a survivor. I've experienced the pain of losing people who you thought would always be there. Who had always been there. But such is life. Nothing lasts forever. And if I've learnt anything it's that all things, will at some point, pass. And if it's any consolidation, I've had people leave me. I've let people leave me. These experiences have been the most painful and yet I'm still here. The spaces where they once occupied continue to weigh down on me but it's the weight of it that's made me stronger. The spaces have made me appreciate intimacy. The things I lack have heightened my appreciation for everything I do have.

The beginning of the end is scary and the pain seems unbearable. The beginning of the end does not get easier. It might seem like it does but don't be fooled. Only the strongest endure the beginning of the end. The more we look back at our life, we realise how small our problems used to be and that is evident of the strength we gain as a person. If you’re a survivor, there are only going to be more bad times ahead. Worse than the ones you could’ve ever experienced.

But what is pain without even just a brief moment of happiness? The only people who feel pain are the ones who have known happiness. It's times like this we acknowledge that ignorance is truly bliss. Happiness seems so small and fleeting compared to the large doses of sadness that we feel but a little happiness can get you a long way.

The end always means a beginning. And a new beginning is a closure. Closure doesn't mean that the past won't come back to find you, but at least you know what you’re in for.

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